Safe Living is a Slow Death

A butterfly dropping by to enjoy my garden

Safe Living is a Slow Death.  That motto from Kor’s (protagonist) culture is one of the reasons I’m here, writing this blog today. I judge that I have for the most part played life safe. I have taken risks but with calculation and if outcomes were unfavorable, it was because I didn’t fully understand the risks in play. In February 2023, I was overpowered with a sudden feeling that I was running out of time. I could no longer afford to play it safe. I launched on getting my book into the public sphere. 2 months later my husband died, and those plans had to be put on hiatus. Months later, I realized I would have difficulty acting on that impulse if I continued my corporate life. But I harbored fear of scarcity, of making an irrevocable decision, the consequences of which could not be undone. And I was alone. If I fell, no one would catch me. But my experience in February chased after my thoughts. If I refused to step into my fear and into the unknown, I would be mired in regret. I am most alive when I write. As much as I appreciated my job as a tax director, it would never be more than a job, a means to an end, a way to survive. I want more than survival. I do not want to live out my remaining time living a slow death. Whatever the consequences, it’s time that I dive into my fear and experience life in a different way. Whatever that means.